You’re so excited that you’ve met someone that you have a real connection with! You’re into him, he’s into you and it’s more than you ever could have imagined! This extends beyond your dreams, and finally the relationship that you have so long desired is within focus. You can’t get enough of him, and he can’t get enough of you…. or can he?
You’re simply following his lead, right? You feel you’re being accommodating when he’d like to see you because he has such a busy schedule and you are the one that needs to be flexible, right? Therefore, you’re leaping at every moment he has free because HE wants to see YOU as much as you do him, right? And, YOU don’t mind dropping everything to rush to his side. YOU can’t get enough of him, and he’s so into you and it all feels so good!
You’ve found the relationship of your dreams and while you are floating on air absorbing all the yummy fun feelings, you feel a slight tug and begin to get a bit (just a tad) concerned. He isn’t texting you as much as you’d like. He isn’t calling as much as you want. You want the 15thousand times a day little “hi, thinking of you” and those have dwindled to almost nothing. What’s going on? He led you into believing that you were both on the same page ready to take that leap into eternal relationship!
Yes, he did lay the bread crumb trail for you to follow. I will use something that one of my man friends pointed out: “don’t go looking for a relationship, desperation is a turn off. ” I know, here’s the part where you get defensive and put on that deer in the headlight look and say innocently, “BUT I WAS ONLY COMPLYING WITH WHAT I THOUGHT HE WANTED”.
At some point, though, YOU jumped right from “Dating and getting to know you” to the intensity of “We are in a real relationship”. You didn’t savor the flavor of the dating dance – the “I want to be with you, but I do have a life and it doesn’t revolve around you yet” dance. You were NEVER too busy to drop everything and rush to be with him; yet what work did HE have to put forward to accommodate YOU? Answer: none. He asked, you responded with an overwhelming “SURE!” (translation: *pant, pant* I’m desperate for this relationship).
Conclusion: When you first meet someone and that sizzle is present, you really need to learn to savor it! Revel in it. Embrace it. Let it develop. Of course it’s difficult to maintain self-restraint and self-control, but you must if you want it to continue to develop. If you are too eager, too soon it’s going to drizzle to nothing. I promise you if you do NOT step back and make him do equal amounts of “accommodating” it will be overwhelming and you can kiss this potential relationship goodbye.